It’s All In Your Head

EVERYTHING IS A MATTER OF PERCEPTION

It was raining like cats and dogs outside and I could hear the rain hitting the ground very hard. I was lying on my bed and was feeling someone was as if someone was punching my heart. I was terribly traumatized at the turn of events spanning my life. I secretly wished that I didn’t had to see the next day. The pain and agony was unbearable. I had not slept for days. I was sinking into a well of depression.

I could see light at the end of the tunnel. My name is Samuel and I am Gay. I have been mocked everywhere. I work as a software professional and I do have the dexterity that IT industry demands. My programming skills are better than my peers. Whenever there is any major application issue or bug people do depend on me to resolve the issue. In spite of my skills I am always mocked, made fun of. People have never respected me or my skills. I feel suicidal almost every single day. My love life has no issues. My boyfriend really loves me. I could not live with this feeling of emptiness so I decided to share my problems with a friend. I called up Ryan. He is my best friend and my best advisor. I told him about the mental block in my life where I was incapable to think and move forward. He urged me to take some time off and introspect situations and emotions. I realized my mind was full of negativity. I had preconceived notions about people. I always looked down on myself. In spite of being dexterous, I considered myself a screw up and not good enough, which led to low self-esteem. I evaluated my cognitive behavioral patterns and performed an assessment about my strengths, weakness, expectation which lead me to believe that my perception about people, situation was wrong. I have always cribbed and complained and never ever expressed gratitude for what I have. Negative emotions had clogged my thought process.

I tried to change my outlook towards the reality of life. For me things had hit rock bottom, but they can’t get worst then this. I had nothing to loose. Being honest with yourself is very important for self -improvement. Often our emotions and misconceptions clouds our judgement on self-perception.

I just tried to ignore my negative emotions and for a change tried to act happy and feel positive. I did realize that it made me actually feel good. I smiled after a long long time. I felt a ray of confidence and air of satisfaction in my lungs. I smiled more. No matter who I encountered on my way, I was smiling. I stopped being grim and grouchy and started being awesome again. I was not mocked at all today. There was this colleague who always use to bully and forced me to work extra hours. His name was Damon. But today was different. Damon’s browbeating comments were retorted in sarcastic humor. I just could believe that my day could also be this wonderful. I was happy, contented. This had made me realize the importance and power of positive thoughts, feelings and emotions. I made it a point to stick to that happy feeling and things started to change dramatically. I have understood Perception creates reality.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. So changing of negative lens with which you view the world needs to be replaced with something more meaningful, hopeful, miraculous, divine, inspiring and empowering. Shift in perception happens when you are self-aware and your judgements about the circumstances and people are well evaluated .It is very important to pay close attention to what you are feeling. Feelings of anger, greed, jealously, envy, self-pity etc are feelings that will be detrimental .On the other hand feelings of hope, love, care, kindness create liberating experiences which will allow you to dream big, follow your gut and instincts and live your dream. I have realized the whole world, every being , the entire universe is nothing but energy. Every thought, every word, every act can be broken down to energy. Universe works on energy and whatever you give, be it positive energy or negative energy,it does boomerang back. At the end it is always about how you think. If you think about abundance and prosperity and you show immense gratitude about what you have. You will be endowed with happiness, prosperity, abundance. If your thoughts are negative, fearful, worrisome, gruesome then negativity is what follows.

My sister Amanda had a very unnatural phobia of public speaking. She had no speech issues while she was talking to us or her friends but when she had to talk in front of unknown people or public she would get anxiety attacks and would start stammering. She would really get embarrassed and would cry often. This issue could be traced back to those days when Amanda was in school and in elocution class she fumbled and for years she had this unfounded fear of public speaking ingrained in her subconscious which had created a belief system in her that she had stammering issues.

Your beliefs and perceptions are always manifested into reality. Your thoughts and perceptions build your identity.

So believe in yourself, reprogram your beliefs and play the game of life. You will surely be a winner.

ACHIEVING TRANCENDENCE

ACHIEVING STOICALNESS(unaffected by negative emotions) : WAY TO DEAL WITH BULL SHIT

Human race is living a intriguing and disturbingly provocative existence currently. We have become more reactive than being proactive in achieving a attitude that makes us have an indifferent approach to pain or pleasure. Stressful and frustrated behavior in dealing with people who do not have the same set of believes as ours ,  certain intricacies of life , unexpected  and adverse circumstances. We react at the slightest provocation and are easily annoyed if things are not going our way. Life has become more of theatric where the daily drama is never ending and we really need to find a way to transcend and reinforce our sanity that has been sapped by the so called scavengers. Achieving stoicalness is very difficult considering the inner resistance today’s want –it – all  rat race generation is facing.

Here are some ideas that you can inculcate to transcend and not get affected by mental peace depleters.

1)      Be attentive only to constructive criticism : People will talk bullshit, pull you down , will make you feel unworthy, try to manipulate you. But don’t sweat on unfair criticism. Destructive criticism crops from pangs on anger, jealousy, frustration ,threat. You just need to let go and detach. Somehow rationality of humans get clogged by emotions which unable us to differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism. We need to take time and respond , not react.

2)      Accept the fact that life is not easy : Life is unpredictable  and stop looking at it with rose tinted glasses, we cannot control everything in life . What we can control is our action and our reaction to the situation. Always geared up to be prepared for the worst , that does not mean you become all cynical and look at all the opportunities life has to provide with pessimism . Hope for the best. Surrender to the fact that life can not always be according to your expectation

3)      Don’t act as a control freak : We cannot control other people’s reaction , attitude , behavior and mentality or their lives. Let go of the innate desire to dominate and control other peoples action as in the long run you can only control your reaction and action. Eliminate the desire for achieving perfection in all domains and life will be perfect as it is.

4)      Stop unnecessary analysis and thinking : Stop obsessing about every small detail and fussing over irrelevant trivialities of life. Just let it be ! . Don’t get caught up in never ending thought process as it leads to frustration.

5)      Be in the present : Human race is busy digging the past to save the future while their present suffers. We are so occupied with our past issues and future interests that our present is impaired. Try to live in the present as you cannot control the future and cannot change the past.

6)      Let others take over the moment of glory  : When faced with a silly argument , let others win . Counter arguments will in return make us defensive , depletes energy and alienates us from the people we love. Let others have the joy and glory of being right and more enlighten. There is so much to learn from everyone. Someone who was rude to us teaches us patience and tolerance .

So stop being judgemental and fussy about all the people. They are all here to teach us something or the other.

7)       Always be a giver : Be the first one to show love. Be the first one to say sorry or to rekindle a friendship. Don’t hold onto resentments or grudges. Don’t exaggerate make a mountain of a molehill. This will make you less defensive and you will feel inner peace and contentment that stems from the fact that happiness is more important than being right.

8)      Stop living life with a sense of urgency : Life is not an unforeseen exigency. You just need to stop the neurotic behavior of doing everything now. I am not supporting procrastination  but this obsessive compulsive behavior of fretting over the inability to do everything at gun point will do no good in return increase anxiety and depression. Cut yourself some slack and just relax.

9)      Gratification  and more Smiles:  Show gratitude for all the people who have always supported  you, all the materialistic pleasures that you have at your disposal , all the opportunities that you have ever received. Continuous gratification in return gives us more instances to be grateful for and restores inner peace. Spreading happiness in return attracts us to receiving more happiness.

10)   Cut yourself some slack : Give yourself 30 minutes everyday when you are not doing anything , not getting bored. Just experience being alive in the moment. Where nothing matters , only you and your existence matters.

11)   Beat the mood swings : Never take long term decision when faced with anger or bad mood. There are many thing which can agitate us , so just calm down and take a wise decision after cognitive and analytical thinking.

12)   Be humble and compassionate : You don’t always have to prove yourself and seek validation from other people. Avoid being a braggart as this will only make you more insecure. Let people talk about your accomplishments . Forgive and forget people who have done wrong. Practice compassion and understand other peoples perspective.